So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
