I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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