you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
