I want to stick my p in your. b.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
