are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
