you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
time to smoke my breakfast
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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