Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
