1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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