I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
His nipple licking is glorious
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