You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
