Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
