You smell like a Billy Joel song
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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