some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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