i think my tv is drunk
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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