I wish i was in the wii world.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
