Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
