Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
