11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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