if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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