One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
