accomplished twins. life is a go
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That's how pantless uber rides happen
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
