Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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