Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
