So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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