Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
