Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
