well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
