My balls are so social today.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
