my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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