the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
