Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
