im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
