I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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