i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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