You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
