WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
