She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
