I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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