Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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