why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
