I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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