I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Panties = found
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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