Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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