Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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