In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Someone signed my nipple.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
