but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
