the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
