do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
