Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
