just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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