Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
