I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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