hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
