The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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