He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
