Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He better not be in your backpack
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
