The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
