dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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