I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
