I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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