Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
