waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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