cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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