Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Of course I have a pirate flag
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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